Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Do You Ever Really Know When You're "Done"?

Having children. Being the youngest in my family, our kids are on the younger end of the Engelke cousin spectrum. Naturally, since Mark is the oldest on his side, our kids are at the older end of the Siegert cousin spectrum. 32 cousins on my side; 12 cousins on his...but their side is just beginning to grow. Two baby cousins were born a few weeks ago, and we got the chance to meet one of them last Saturday.
In addition to my goddaughter Mady...

...who is friendly as can be (as you can see)...

Doug and Paula have a beautiful baby girl, Lauren Kathleen!

Here's a good look at her lungs. Cy loves to hold babies, and he did surprisingly well even though Lauren was a bit flustered at the time. (We'll cut her some slack; she was only 11 days old.)

Ironically, Mark was three hours east of here, visiting the other new Siegert cousin, Tage Gregory. He was missing our kids, and I think we both were missing the days of babies and toddlers. I realized that our house is not toddler-proof anymore when Mady started pulling wine bottles out of the side table! But I don't miss the constant needs of an infant, the lack of sleep, and feeding kids on the go (like this).

Technically, we don't have to be "done" having kids. I mean, some people wait until their late 30s and early 40s to start having children, so we're not too old in that sense. My mother was 38 when she had me, and her mother was 41 when she had her...so what the heck, I'm "only" 39 right?! But as Mark reminds me, it would medically not be very wise to get pregnant again, as I have a heart condition (something-techycardia) that is aggravated/elevated when I'm pregnant (we discovered when I was carrying the twins and had to go on medication). Plus when we were expecting Wynne, we had a scare with a blood test that showed a good chance our baby was going to have Downs Syndrome. Having an amniocentesis was not my idea of a fun way to celebrate my 35th birthday, but it was reassuring to learn a few weeks later that Wynne was healthy. From that moment on, Mark and I knew that God had given us several healthy children (aside from the twins' asthma which has since become controlled) and that we should be very happy with what we have !!

Still and all, when you see your kids holding other people's kids (and they start talking to you about friend problems, pre-puberty stuff, and faith issues)...you can't help but want to hold onto them and somehow reverse the aging process. Just stop growing up for a while, that's all I ask!! I mean, look at our baby girl. Those chubby little legs are getting taller...

...those hands are learning to do so much more for themselves...

...and that heart is shining through in ways only God could have imagined, even before she came into existence. And so when I feel the twinge of sadness and wonder what it would be like to have another child, I hear God telling me to spend more time and love on the children that He has already entrusted to our care. They will be grown up and out the door before we know it!

I have cared for you since you were born.
Yes, I carried you before you were born.
I will be your God throughout your lifetime—
until your hair is white with age.
I made you, and I will care for you.
I will carry you along and save you.--Isaiah 46:3-4


Blogger Astrid said...

I know I'm done. I could tell...the little babies that most people ooooh and ahhhhh about aren't making me go ooooooh and ahhhh. They're making me very thankful that I have two beautiful girls that are old enough to help me! :) Definitely a blessing.

February 24, 2010 at 11:47 AM  

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